After Alex was born I interviewed every mother I could trying to figure out whether I wanted my kids two or three years apart.
What I was told:
Two years....
Pro:
-They are close in age and best friends
-They will be at the same school for longer, so it will save from having to drop off at multiple schools.
Cons:
-The first two years are really hard cause they are both so young.
-older child will be more likely to be at home because they aren't at school age. Which means it's harder on mom juggling two kids.
-The toddler has limited understanding as to pregnancy and the baby... So they aren't as helpful.
Three years....
Pro:
-The older one may have a better understanding of pregnancy and the baby, so they might help out more.
-The older one is more self-sufficient.
-The older one may be in school, so it gives the mother more time with their infant.
Cons:
-There is a larger age gap between the kids. Some parents said their kids were best friends, some had more fights due to age.
-Kids are at separate schools later down the line.
*this is what I've been told. Others may have different experiences.
We decided to have the two year age gap. I wanted it that way because my sister and I are 3.5 years apart and had a hard time connecting due to the age gap.
One thing I asked myself before getting pregnant was... How hard is it taking care of a toddler while pregnant? Here are the pros and cons to having a two year old while pregnant..
The benefit of pregnancy the second time around is...
The toddler helps you forget that your pregnant (cause you're so busy) the pregnancy goes a lot quicker.
It's so much more relaxing because you have a better idea of what to expect from pregnancy, and you know what to expect having a newborn. I hate being pregnant, so it is really nice to look at my son and realize that this 9 month process is definitely worth it. So the second time around is much easier than the first time.... For me.
You already have a lot of the stuff for baby number two. You're registry is nowhere as long and you know what you need.
The cons:
You don't get as much sleep. The first time around it was easier to sleep in or nap when I wanted to. I have been known to pass out at 8:30pm on occasion.
Bending down. The lifting of a toddler isn't as bad as I thought it was. That's the big fear... Carrying a toddler while pregnant, but you can sit them on the hip, and that's not as bad. But occasionally bending over and trying to get him in your arms... That's hard. When the toddler is running from you to get in their carseat. That's when the challenge comes.
The running. Here is the big one. Once you slow down.. They speed up. Taking my child to the mall or library was the worse. He would take off..and physically.. it was more challenging to catch him. So that is probably the hardest part. But I would find where he'd run the fastest and either I'd have friends with me, or we'd stop going to those places.
The last thing to consider is potty training of the older child and when you want to tackle it. I've heard boys take longer than girls, so I'm hoping to tackle that when he's closer to three and my baby is closer to 6 months. Whereas if there is a 3 year age difference, I would guess you'd tackle potty training before giving birth?
Whatever decision is made... It seemed like there was always the same number of pros vs cons as to how far apart to space kids. Best of luck!
